How to Not Run Away from the Best Times to Heal (7 tips)

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So, you no longer want to run from your past. Now what?

You want to heal and move on. But how?

It’s easy to forget the artistry of life when you’re numb from your day-to-day existence. My friend Fiona’s statement triggered some past wounds as she said:

“Around the time I joined LinkedIn, back in mid-January, I started doing a lot of work on releasing negative self-beliefs, learning to manage that inner critic who has held me back so often in my life. Looking back has made me realise how far I have come, how much my confidence is growing, and how much more genuine the connections I am making are now (that) I am no longer hiding behind the mask of who I feel I should be. Time to pull out that concept sketch of the self-portrait “The Things I Tell Myself Behind The Mask I Wear” that I started a few months back, to complete her and finally put that mask and those negative thoughts well behind me.”

-Fiona Watson

Then I saw this.

Artist, Fiona Watson's pencil sketch of Negative-self beliefs which make up a masquerade type of mask titled, The Things I Tell Myself Behind the Mask I Wear as she prepares to heal.
Sketch by Fiona Watson

Magnificent.

It reminded me of this.

Power Mask-Airbrush and watercolor assorted pencil by Jeff Syblik for post, How to Not Run Away from the Best Times to Heal (7 tips)
Power Mask with a poem on the back. Image Credit: Jeff Syblik

Ah, yes I’ve been through this and healed. Now, I was ready to share.

Get past the mask? Peel away the masquerade of hurt which has stifled your creative inner-child with these suggestions for healing through self-recovery and self-discovery.

Peel, Crack, or Reconstruct

There are nine insights and action steps when you peel, crack, and reconstruct that come from healing in difficult times.

Ovation

Art and Vulnerability

First, hear the applause your vulnerability has won you? As you bring light to your inner truth, speak from this safe space. Others will be able to tell this is the honest presentation of an artist.

Surprise! Collapse your comfort zones and it comes with a cost, no backslides without criticism. Healing appears, disappears, and ushers itself in to have a seat in the theatre performance of your life in difficult times.

Your lost sense of security heightens the internal critic. Often, these voices connect to those around who speak the same tongue, the shadow artists. These people want what you have discovered but haven’t healed to believe it’s theirs too. Their jealousy is the fuel to take them through the peaks and valleys to dream fulfillment. Yet, they fear the tightrope of adventure.

Cheers and Jeers

Remember, inner critics reject our elastic comfort zones. Listen to the voice patterns of internal skeptics in your surroundings. Acknowledge the fear of the unknown. Then, move at least one small step forward. In nonjudgment, separate the disbelief from the individual who is only its megaphone.

Think back. Our introspective truth points at times to issues in need of reform in society. Some pockets of society ignore the conflict that threatens their comfort.

This avoidance was visible in the Black Lives Matter (BLM) protests. Yet now, months since George Floyd’s tragedy, the momentum to stand for social equality has knocked this struggle off the national stage. Too much, too fast, won’t last?

Behold a truism. Consistent change is difficult. Whether it is personal or societal, it’s hard.

Next, you must keep in mind nothing wavers but our distance from the problem/challenge.

Populations react to art’s expose of this distance between inaction and correction.

So, create art that shows people what they don’t want to see, and they’ll react with inflamed emotion. Yes, they pay attention, but soon you’re in front of the Instagram firing squad.

Understand this. Then, take time to self-reflect, be kind to yourself, unravel unjustified criticism, and heal.

grayscale photo of woman swimming underwater
It happens. We get a glimpse of what we see and don’t want to see all at once. Photo by Emma Li on Pexels.com

Glimpse

Second, I have great news. Think about it. You’re becoming the person you admire and want to be. It still feels fresh, like a lain face mask before bed. The only difference is this custom-made design pulls from different energies and motivations.

This image of who you want to be is your power mask. This is a potent tool that comes from introspection. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon, these words take form through evolution to manifest them in what is the now.

Here’s a powerful exercise. Revisit the nine personalities of the Enneagram. Review how this tool spells out personality strengths, weaknesses, and core beliefs.

The greatness of the Enneagram tool is in its exposure to your personality’s weaknesses. This limitation or fault opens wide your potential for improvement. 

The biggest room in the world, is the room for improvement.

-Helmut Schmidt

Some say the same about their house, which symbolizes life.

Know your biggest fear and dearest desire? Congrats, these are the gleaming bullets to load into your firearm of reform tools. Now you’ve hired the best protector, you as your adult parent.

Dropping Medjugorje sun before sunset by Jeff Syblik
Your focus is the all-important game-changer. Photo Credit: Jeff Syblik (Dropping Medjugorje sun)

Zoom-In

Third, look for the signs that surround who you are. Let them lead you to deeper healing. For example, my association with Type 1, the reformer, and Type 2, the helper, tell me self-care is a huge challenge. Self-care is my tool and the first battleground of my inner parent.

The second sparring arena is appreciation.

The introspective test results of my Enneagram claim Type 2 people have an ulterior motive pinned to their love. Also, Type 2’s believe to feel fulfillment, a helper needs to be needed. This is where I lean to my Type 1’s side and its self-denial.

If this desire is my core introspective belief, I must be an appreciative parent for each step in my creative recovery. In honesty, I misalign with Type 2 in this characteristic. I’m not naïve enough to believe I “need to be needed”.

Again, this is my Type 1 morality that keeps me from admission my love has motives. I would say I work better when appreciated, but I don’t need external appreciation to create or produce.

See the introspective tug-a-war inside me? Type 1 and Type 2 stretch each other over a dangerous, muddy moat.

Right now, I wish appreciation came as a steady stream of income. That’s the internal motivation for success I reconstruct with some of these introspective tools daily.

Artistic creation ties on tight to self-restoration and it, in turn, heals my broken spirit. Is there a self-reflective artwork series brewing inside of Fiona to take us along on her journey from this first sketch? The spin of the clock’s hands will tell.

Assorted puzzle game to describe the enneagram
Discovering the Enneagram is like finding your personality out of a jigsaw puzzle box with 9 variations of color for each piece. Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

Reevaluate with Introspection

Fourth, take this important step. Retake the Enneagram test as if your personality characteristics matched your ideal traits.

Then, compare the two results, actual to ideal. Think and write about what this tool’s results say about you. Do you identify with these motives, strengths, and challenges the test assumes to be yours? Why?

black handwritten text on gray background that signifies Julia Cameron's Morning Pages that help creatives to process and heal.
Graphologists believe our handwriting uncovers clues to understand our personalities. Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Reassess Personality Clues

Introspective Penmanship?

Fifth, recognize the impeccable nuances of your penmanship. Handwriting admiration seems silly, but often we go to war with our cursive script. Learn to fall into the depths of your heart in love with your handwriting. Many believe it to be your soul’s invaluable fingerprint.

I didn’t discover my love for my handwriting until one day, I ran out of blue and black ink pens. As my pen etched colorless indentions into the paper, I grabbed a new ink pen. It had, surprise, red ink.

For the first time, I felt myself bleed on the page. Work with the Artist’s Way’s Morning Page introspective tool gets you to connect with your unique script. Long-handwriting is your royal flush in this game of introspection.

Each swooping line, curve, every dotted i or long crossed t tells you about your personality.

The term for the study of someone’s handwriting is graphology.

Graphology and You

Loops aren’t the only characteristic on which to focus with this tool of handwriting awareness. Also, pay attention to someone’s speed, pressure, form, and order. Below is a list of the features graphologists study:

  • Spacing between words
  • Spacing of lines underneath or above the text.
  • Margins
  • Alignment how much to the center, left, or right does the text take.
  • Pressure put on the pen
  • Slant of the prose
  • Letter size and position
  • Movement of the text across the page
  • Heading use or absence
  • Favoring of the right or left side of the page
  • Position and Shape of i-dots
  • Position and Shape of crossed T’s

Reflection on these manuscript signals formed my self-knowledge pool. The meaning behind someone’s script is flexible based on mood or emotion. If this is true, then my Morning Pages are more insightful than a palm reading or a horoscope. 

If you’re interested in this study, I have a post for you.

Can you change your handwriting style and in return find yourself in a more positive mood? Does it work in reverse like that? Handwriting awareness can be the introspective tool that gives you insight into your mood and personality as it evolves.

Such evolution can also help you become more perceptive about those around you too. Although the validity of handwriting analysis on an introspective level is logical to apply to yourself, to assume these same conclusions to others is still controversial.

Pace

Sixth, pick up, steady, or slow the pace down. Listen to your body with this introspective tool that monitors your growth. It knows. Julia Cameron calls it, Keeping Current. Each month, quarter, etc. check in with yourself.

Get out a page and get introspective. Do not confuse this tool with goal monitoring. This is not about goal accomplishment, it’s about growth. I have a post coming to speak more on this tool. But right now, it’s a page where you ask yourself the questions, am I being authentic, and am I growing. Then explore on the page, the how.

I admire Fiona’s momentum. Plus, I’m so excited for you as well. Continue the Morning Pages, Artist Dates, and Daily Walks. You’ll nourish your creative life beyond what you ever thought possible. Healing is close at hand.

Wait, the what?

Key Introspective Tools

Not familiar with these tools? No problem. With these links above, you’ll get familiar with them and place each in your creative resuscitation kit. For brevity, I’ll review them like hare sprint over sparkling, dew-kissed grasslands. That’s cheetah fast.

  • Morning pages are three-9 X 12 sheets, written longhand, that carry whatever pours out when you wake to write them. They’re a raw, stream of consciousness exercise.
  • Artist Dates, also called Timeouts, are weekly, one-hour minimum, fun things to try by yourself.
  • Daily Walks are thirty-minute strolls you take solo through a country or city landscape.

Fun, novelty, and consistency to your commitment to self-care, from week to week, fill your creative well to heal and replenish your health.

Nourish and Stretch

Ready for deep self-spelunking? Take the seventh action step and feed your self-help soul with luxury. Luxury is everything from blueberries on your cereal to a week-long cruise on the Orient. The goal? To feel cared for. It doesn’t matter what you do or what it costs. Effort is everything. Healing comes through this extension of ego to validate your inner child.

Set up your luxurious regime, and reserve guidebooks like the Vein of Gold to sustain your progress. According to S.A.R.K., if we admit our thirst for restoration, the rest of our life is full of opportunities to heal.

Once a sexually abused child, S.A.R.K. surrendered this need for validation, acceptance, and restoration to an eternal time clock. So, as a humanist, she opens herself to heal as occasions of deeper self-revelation appear.

Hint, often these moments to heal fall like wrapping paper over our problems, setbacks, or challenges. They might even hide to surprise in sweetness like the cherry fruit filling of a jelly roll donut. Trust your introspective skills to know when to push, when to rest, and when to play.

Routine   

Eighth action step? Make self-care addictive. Ever been to a retreat, vow to make a change, and then watch your desire to be better slowly fade? Fight it with a partner’s example to keep you on your routine. My friend Fiona gave herself a jumpstart with the gift of leather she once wanted in her teenage years. This token built onto the trust of her creative, inner child. I can follow Fiona’s example and give gifts to my creative self, and you can too.

I remember I felt this trust-gift to my child-self when I sent away for a Kiowa courting flute. Thanks again, Eric for my bamboo beauty and as you call her, my friend for life.

But remember, creative growth is seldom linear.

It happens that one step forward precedes two back. We listen, then forget as we pray to make it three steps ahead. Yet, my friend Fiona discovered when her art was no longer enjoyable, it was time for a break. You can follow her example when that happens to you. But continue to walk and take Timeouts (artist dates) as you rest in your creative recovery.

Again, rest and play are so important in the creative recovery process.

Guides and More Introspective Tools

Ninth, it seems I’m at my best when I have a book by me. But, I grow even more when I am self-reflective. After I encounter new ideas, right away, I need to begin to apply them. This can happen through your subconscious tool, the Artist’s Way’s morning pages. Also, it can occur when there is a conscious effort to process your thoughts as you read a book. After you read a page and before you begin the next, review the main ideas for later notes.

After thirty minutes of reading a self-help book, set down and write about what you learned and how you can apply it to make your life richer or better in some way. It’s like a personal sermon 2.0.

Our introspective self is a great teacher to our present self. Letters from our future self to our present help are powerful. After a time remail the letter to yourself. Then watch as your practical self pulls you toward greater self-improvement and healing. Stay posted for more info on this introspective exercise. Look. There are so many titles out there to help you become your top-shelf you,! But these links below are a sample of those I found most helpful. I’m an Amazon affiliate, so full disclosure, a click, and purchase help me out and yourself.

How to Become a Famous Writer Before You’re Dead:

Vein of Gold

The Zen of Seeing

Think and Grow Rich

Science of Getting Rich

Outwitting the Devil

Resisting Happiness

A Creative Companion

Transformational Soup

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All That Plus a Bag o’ Chips

Run from the struggle? Embrace the challenges? You can’t do both. Healing hides behind the struggle. It’s true, we don’t realize we need to heal. Yet, in every life scenario, there’s a chance for more hurt or restoration. Refocus, here in the trenches. It’s in the foxholes we find the best times to heal. Take advantage of these introspective tools to help you revive yourself for the quest of creative healing, self-recovery, and self-discovery.

These include:

  • Growth mindset
  • Enneagram analysis
  • Graphological awareness
  • Artist Way Tools
  • Surrender-to heal
  • Addictive self-care
  • Guides and guidebooks

The next time you’re called to move forward, heal, and grow on your life journey, which one of these tools will you try? Feel free to leave a comment or question. Also, mention any of these you’d like me to explore more in-depth.

If you enjoyed this post, like or share it. Until next time, be your top-shelf you.