How to Keep Spirits High When You Live with Your In-Laws

“Let’s run the numbers again,”

I told my wife with desperate eyes.

I finally had a job I loved, but it was part-time. My wife felt stuck in her dead-end job. But the spreadsheet retold the story.

Low on money? High on bills?  

You’re headed for the in-laws. 

We were devastated passengers, on the wagon train of debt, bound to lose our freedom. Adults no longer, we were kids again. Not fair! I worked hard for my independence. Sound familiar?

Join 20% of the US population.

Here are my secrets to keep your spirits high and live with the in-laws. 

Adjustments

Balance Harmony and Independence

Adjust to household noise levels.

You may like it quiet and enter a loud home. The TV might not turn off. 

Set up your healthiest environment.

• Go outside, sit in a car, or escape into your room as you crave silence.
• Claim this quiet space. It doesn’t take much area to center in stillness. Sit in a closet to meditate, pray, draw, write, sew, or color.
• When you need others to listen, speak up. If you want to break through the tension in a family relationship, stay out of it.

What if you’re the opposite and like it loud?

• Blend into the noise level around you.
• Remember. Better to adapt than to expect your in-laws’ to change.

Maximize Your Space

As noise passes through the wall, your bed sure seems close to the window. You feel cramped, and it suffocates your peacefulness.

Figure out unusual ways to recover space and solitude.

• Use glass and mirrors to enlarge the feel of your room. A pair of glass top wrought iron end-tables serve as nightstands.
• Hang up a vanity mirror to unveil the illusion of a longer room.

Is your bed too big for the area?

• Substitute pillows for a headboard.
• Items in under-the-bed storage not practical? Move or toss them.

This room is your sanctuary. Ask for a lock, and preserve it.

• Review the things you keep in storage. Merge boxes.
• Fold your laundry like little sushi rolls. Let this, Konmari method, empty your closets.

The KonMari Fold | Basics – YouTube

• Downsize, ditch, or donate your stuff to clear out your living areas. Narrow your possession list down to essentials. Preplan to make this cooperative arrangement work.

Technology can increase your living space.

• Load terabyte drives with photo albums, movies, DVDs, and more. Use smartphones to check out digital media or audiobooks.

• Combine furniture. Aim for five to seven sturdy pieces. If guest rooms come with dressers, give yours away.

Splurge on Headphones

Buy blue-tooth ready, noise-canceling, comfortable headphones.

When you want to feel solitude or exit the flow of conversation, tune it out.

• Plug into your media with a pair of high-quality headphones and surround yourself with positive vibes.

• Unlock closed captions and listen with headphones to fade out rival TV audio. This will help you learn to speed read.

Apply these tips to raise your productivity. Duck out of passionate political and religious discussions to double or triple your work time.

Target Self-Care Integration

Growth

Your spirit rises as you learn more things.

• Take a class or read a book.
• Log on to on-line libraries and free internet-based professional development for self-improvement.
• Join/start study and support groups.

Relaxation

• Take vacations when it is safe, and you have the money. These few days away from the in-laws and vice-versa help lots.
• One hour a week, savor something you enjoy. Carve out creative moments to spend by yourself and get some rest.
• Balance time alone with family outings.
• Commit to your relaxation with the family. Preplanned Friday family movie nights fit into anyone’s schedule.
• Save Sundays for faith and fun.

Meditation

Download apps and tracks for low or no cost and settle into the silence.

• Plan your day in the morning.
• Review your day in the evening.
• Between those times, renew your mind and spirit. Make connections with nature, music, or physical activity.

Dial into the Divine

Some reflect on Scripture or concentrate on breath patterns to discover peace. Others swear by Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR). These familiar sounds de-stress listeners to rid them of anxiety and ready them for sleep.

You-Tube these videos for a skin tingling sensation.

Also, many writers put pen to pad and visualize their futures. Others say prayers or recite affirmations during exercise routines.

Opportunity to Pay-off Debt

Perk alert! Life with in-laws can help with finances. It’s possible to pay down debt and pay for higher education. Budget, set savings goals, and sacrifice unnecessary expenses.

Cut Out the Excess

Lessen the size and amount of furniture. When you decorate, think about if you could pack up your stuff and move in less than a day. Also, economize. Each quarter, review what you own. Pitch or donate unused items. After Christmas, let your child choose what stays in his room.

Walk Daily

Regular exercise programs release stress.

• Walk
• Run
• Lift weights
• Stretch,
• Yoga.

Focus first on attendance, then intensity, distance, and endurance.

Start Gratitude Pages

Avoid the thoughts which deflate and don’t elevate. Every day, spell-out what is precious to you and supports your lifestyle. True blessings aren’t things. They’re people, pets, and even ideals.

Cash in All Your Perks

Fewer Maintenance Costs

Life with the in-laws can at the least split your utility costs and time spent on chores.

• Hello, tag-team lawn maintenance.
• Alternate the washer of dishes.
• Limit laundry to the weekend.
• Share expenses as appliances wear out.

Enjoy More Free Time

You’ve finished your chores and still have most of the weekend.

• Pull up the Play Store and download a free movie application.
• Stream recent movies in return for views of advertisements.
• Connect a smartphone adapter to HDMI cables and onto your TV.
• Presto! Enjoy the show.

More time?

• Read
• Cook
• Bake
• Play music
• Do arts and crafts
• Stay away from collections.

Rethink Romance

Spouses make the most of each moment alone and enjoy the live-in babysitters. If dates aren’t a reality, make grocery store trips a close second. Wake up early to be together. In the wee morning hours, it’s like the whole house is yours to enjoy.

Stay Connected

Online interaction can create a sense of family.

• You can exchange instant messages with friends to form closer bonds.
• Reach out to neighbors on social media as you move away from their neighborhood.
• Drop politics from your social network feed. This will keep your family and friends close and post engagements civil.

Shared intergenerational household time is a special event.

• Have community meals once a week.
• Schedule a meeting with the grandparents to set boundaries before the move-in. This way, they can talk about their concerns and how to leave them out of a child’s discipline.
• Become a team with the grandparents with a central focus on core values. Although each household brings a different life perspective, core values unite both families.
• These values are what you stand for in a crisis. Ideals like honesty, genuineness, and charity make up common cornerstones for child character construction.

Note of Warning

• At all costs, get out of an abusive extended household. Leave. This atmosphere is more than toxic. No financial reward is worth abuse.
• But don’t shy away from the challenge to love imperfect people. You may be in this spot to learn how to love a difficult person. Be open to what you find in this situation.
• You may be here to discover a call to faith and a move away from material blessings.
• But in faith, this arrangement is only temporary. Jesus quoted Genesis 2:24 as he explained, a man should cleave to his wife and the two live on their own. Dwell on this hope and work on yourself to fulfill your end of the promise.

Until next time, let this north star guide you to become your top-shelf you.

Wrap Up

Stuck with the In-laws, it’s more than bearable. Reflect on these points.

• Balance harmony and independence
• Maximize space
• Buy headphones
• Use technology to personalize media experiences
• Grocery date
• Exercise daily
• Target self-care, spouse care, and childcare

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